I did not hear back from the Reverend today. I don't feel confident about it now. I left Mary a message today saying that if he didn't call me by the end of the day we should go forward with contacting the family of her friend. That seems like a secure bet. I really don't get it. The Rev. has had almost two weeks to work on it. Yet, yesterday when we spoke he seemed hesitant. Almost as if he hadn't done anything about it. Although he did say he knew of someone who had lost a daughter and was strapped for cash because the daughter was a major contribution to the family's income. Diplomatically I said your group was hoping to help a family where perhaps children were involved. He and I had already discussed one possible family ( A Dad who lost his wife and was left with two small children). Personally, I thought this was the family he was going to work on contacting. But no. When I asked him about it, he said he had had trouble getting phone numbers etc. . So , he said to call him back at four pm. This was yesterday. When I called, he still had not obtained numbers. So we left it that he would let me know today. He never called. So here is a baffling example. Now, here's something else. When I was waiting to see him (during my second visit to the church), I explained to the receptionist why I was there. She made comments about the church needing to approve these things ( I sensed by committee). Well, this, combined with the Rev. asking me if the money would be given to the church (which I said no, that it would be in the form of a check to the family). Well, 2plus2 is 5 and , it seems that even in a case of charity red tape is ALIVE AND WELL.

I wish I could have had more success. Now this isn't to say that it still cannot be done. At my own school I had avoided making a big thing about this because I did not want to hurt the feelings of one of our teachers who lost a brother firefighter (who was single). She and I have discussed his passing.

Well, if for any reason Mary's friend' s family doesn't pan out, I could go ahead and be more vocal at our school. As a matter of fact, today I spoke to another teacher just in passing and she said her husband knew of numerous people affected. Again, these would be people that would be screened by someone other than myself first. Deciding who is deserving is difficult and seems clear that is why funds are not responding to phone calls about selecting one family. Neverthess, any of these options are open to exploration, even after your own event. It could be useful perhaps to other people doing charities like yours.

I'll do what I can within the time that I have. In the last two weeks I have had a mid term, and tonight I had a major presentation at school. All of which required my time. I know it's taken some time. But I have gone from knowing nothing, to spending hours on the Internet searching out the Funds, Family Assistance Center, etc. . I have taken trips personally, and made phone calls that have often not been returned. People seem overwhelmed. The Red Cross doesn't need any blood, they were even going to throw some out. Just to give you an idea: I have been trying to speak to someone at the Salvation Army Family Relief Center to volunteer on Thanksgiving Day at a luncheon supplied by local restaurants to families near Ground Zero, and I have yet to speak to the right person. This is after numerous calls.

Well, now why am I doing this? Any of this? September 11 has left what I hope is not a permanent aching cavity within my chest. I now speak personally. There isn't a day that does not go by where something doesn't provoke a tear. People's pain is everywhere in this city. We cannot escape it. Everyday a new story is told in our local media, a new reminder of one of the cruelest, most vile acts perpetrated against a vulnerable group of innocent people. And I say vulnerable because I have spent a lot of time on planes. The worst is always imagined. But never in such a heineous act of murder against your own countrymen. And perhaps, most painful , is the thought of the pleasure with which it was carried out. No doubt, this lies at the root the pain. But, how small my pain must be compared to that of a family who lost their loved ones. I can only imagine, since I would only need to place our own family and think of the unbearable. It has to be so large for them, so painfully large.

There are two expressions that have stood out for me since all this happened. Two expressions that I would like to always remember. They are simple, but profound: The first, "There is no moral equivalent", and the second, "We will never forget". And I won't, and we musn't. We need to stand solid, with our fellow friends and families, even if we don't know them personally, yet our pain is intimate with theirs. And we must never allow anyone to sway our thinking so as to minimize the severity of this act. While we may want to forget, because it feels better, we can't. The future of all children, your children, my nieces and nephews deserves better.

This event did not surprise me. I have been following Middle Eastern politics for many years. I know when these people speak, (the Osamas of the world), they mean it. And when they are capable of tossing an innoncent man in a wheelchair overboard a ship, as they did in the 80s on the Italian Achille Lauro. Well...let's not kid ourselves in thinking that September 11 was as far as they will take it. We would be fools to think that. And they need to be stopped!

We must do what it takes to ensure our safety. We have a right to our lives, and to live them without fear. It's a bit ironic, but our own Cuban history and struggle for freedom, while not providing solace, does make understanding all this apparent madness easier, not better, just easier.

I'll keep you posted. Let me know what the next step is. If Mary's friend works out or not. Or, if other suggestions are in order.

Good luck, and Happy Thanksgiving. I'm going to miss all of you. This is my favorite holiday!